The Haircut

After sleeping for 18 hours straight, Josh was still horizontal on the couch when I returned from my morning run. Seriously concerned about how he was physically able to remain unconscious for such an age without the help of a medically induced coma, I ventured over to check on him. 

When I had established that he was in fact still alive I tried to motivate him to go out and do something. After an exasperating effort, without any success, he then asked me if I would cut his hair for him. Hoping that a new haircut would somehow also radically affect his mental state, I jumped at the idea and ten minutes later I had transformed the doorway from our kitchen to the back yard into a Barber's shop.

Josh didn't seem at all interested in my previous experience or ability to cut hair (luckily for him I had actually cut people's hair before) but just thrust his trimmers into my hands and asked me to "make it shorter." 
Approximately three minutes into the hair cutting process Josh contributes: "You're doing it all wrong, you need to just go in all directions because my hair is crazy curly. It's like shearing a sheep."
I've never had much first hand interaction with farmyard animals but I've seen sheep shearing on Emmerdale once so drawing on that mental image I set to work.

Forty- five minutes and seventy petty arguments later; the sides of Josh's hair were remarkably shorter, I'd left him a mohawk down the back of his head and it slightly longer on top. There were a few places that I may have got a bit carried away with but all in all I was pretty pleased with the final outcome. 

After Josh's initial unconvinced reaction I was able to pacify him by persuading him it looked hot and all the girls wouldn't be able to resist him. When he was finally happy with the outcome we set about clearing up the sea of Josh's hair that now covered our kitchen floor. I also realised that my top was absolutely covered in it too, so telling Josh to avert his eyes, I took it off to shake it out. At precisely that moment our neighbour Anastasia walked in through the back door to see both Josh and I standing topless in the kitchen surrounded by what looked like the result of the massacre of a black sheep. We had a lot of explaining to do...